The Stuff of Nightmares
by a starr in the sky
Summary: Everyone has bad dreams once in a while, Elizabeth just hopes that's what happening to her because she doesn't think she could live if it was real.


Elizabeth had just received the news that she had always dreaded and her life fell apart in a matter of seconds.

She had been having a hard day at work, Russell Jackson had already barged into her office to yell her about something that had happened in the middle east which she had nothing to do with, but somehow it was still her fault. By the time he left, Blake had already wrangled up 2 senators that "absolutely needed" to speak with Elizabeth, she did her best to appease them as quickly as possible but it was never that easy. By the time she was able to take a breath, Daisy barged into her office talking about some press nightmare that had gotten out and needed to be contained and Elizabeth needed to make a statement. She felt that the day was never ending. Little did she know it was about to get worse.

She thought the day was finally coming to an end, she had dealt with all the major disasters that had been presented to her and she just wanted to get home to her kids and her husband but her world would come crashing down before she would make it back home.

As she was packing her briefcase, her phone went off. It was the White House. Shit she thought, I guess she wouldn't be getting home early. When she answered, she had President Dalton on the other end of the line. This surprised her because he never made personal calls, the message usually came from Russell or other staff members, she immediately knew something was going on.

President Dalton did not want to share the devastating news to her over the phone, they were too good of friends to do that so he summoned her to the Oval Office. At this point, Elizabeth knew something wasn't right but she couldn't tell what it was. Was she getting fired? Did she cause WW3? She had no idea.

As she walked into the Oval Office, it was Conrad and herself, Russell wasn't even there, something was off.

He had no idea how to break the news to her, he had found out about an hour ago and he paced his office for a while before he even had it in him to call her and now she was standing in front of him and he knew he was about to ruin her life.

Elizabeth was just staring at him and just wanted him to spit it out but he just wasn't saying anything and she was starting to panic, she was thinking the worse, little did she know, the reality would be so much worse than anything she could have imagined.

Conrad leaned against the front of his desk and motioned for Elizabeth to sitin the chair in front, he knew it would be better if she were sitting to hear this news. That when he started:

"Bess…"

"Conrad?"

"I um, I've received some news"

She looked at him, wanting him to finish his thought.

"Bess, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but while he was out in the field, Henry was ambushed and he was shot…"

"Oh my god." She said while exhaling, should couldn't process what she was being told.

"Is he OK?" she looked up at Conrad, tears in her eyes, the colour drained from her face.

Conrad gave her the most pitiful look, she wasn't understanding what he was trying to tell her, he didn't want to have to say out loud but he knew she wouldn't just assume.

"I'm so sorry Bess, Henry didn't make it…"

Her mind was going a mile a minute while the world simultaneously stood still. She just sat there, staring at Conrad, waiting for him to tell her that it wasn't true and that when she got home, Henry would be there to greet her with his loving embrace and a kiss and made her melt in the knees, but it never came.

Conrad explained to her what had happened, technically it was all Top-Secret information and he shouldn't be sharing it with her but he knew that Elizabeth wouldn't leave without knowing all the details, that's just how she was.

He explained that Henry had into the field to meet his asset but to everyone's surprise, Ian wasn't there and Henry had been ambushed by the cult and they had used automatic weapons to scare Henry off and he had sustained injuries to his torso but he received a gunshot to his chest which was determined as the cause of death. Elizabeth was listening but she wasn't hearing anything Conrad was telling her, all she could think was what she was going to tell her kids. She couldn't process anything.

She didn't say a word to Conrad, she simply got up and walked out of the Oval Office. While walking away, she passed Russell Jackson who already knew what she had just been told and he expressed his sympathies but Elizabeth didn't even notice him there, she just walked straight to her car.

Her DS agents had not been briefed on the situation and were therefore unaware of what was happening to their boss but they could tell she was not OK. They weren't sure if she was returning to the office or if she was going home but they were hesitant to ask, she could tell they were speaking about her and not too her so she quietly said that she was going home, though it would never feel like home again because Henry wasn't there to make her feel at home.

When she made it through the front door, she realized that none of her kids were home, she felt both relived and distraught about it. On one had they weren't there so they still had tome to live a life where their father was still alive and their hero but on the other hand, she wanted to tell them what had happened because they needed to grieve Henry together.

She went up to her bedroom, she didn't realize how difficult it would be to walk in to the space she shared with her beloved husband, they had made so many great memories in that room, not just the incredible sex but the late-night conversations and the time spent snuggling with their kids, everything became so real in the moment. Henry was not coming back home. He would never walk into their home again. She would never hold his hand, kiss his lips or lean into his embrace again. She would never share her bed with the love of her life and again. Her children would never call anyone else dad, they would never be able to give him a hug and they would never hear him say how much he loved them and how proud of them he was. It was making these realizations that made the situation so real. She fell to the ground and screamed and cried, she was unable to control her emotions any longer. She cried so hard she was unable to breath and went to the point of being sick. She was usually able to keep her emotions in check but when it came to her family, that went out the window.

She had no idea how long she had been freaking out in her bedroom but she eventually heard some stirring downstairs, that's when she knew she had to tell her kids what had happened to their dad, they needed to know.

She changed into comfy clothes and put on one of Henry's Marine sweatshirts that smelled like him, it was comforting and heartbreaking all at once. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, the kids saw her and knew something was incredibly wrong, her face was red and her eyes were puffy, they knew their mom had been crying. Stevie was unable to recall a moment in her life that she had seen her mother cry, she was always so strong.

As soon as Alison noticed her mother's face she asked her mom what was wrong and what was going on. That's when Elizabeth asked them to take a seat in the living room because she had something to tell them. Jason automatically asked where his dad was, because he is always part of the family meetings, Elizabeth looked away, she didn't know how she was going to tell him, how she was going to tell all of them that their father was never going to be coming home again.

She was tossing and turning in bed, she couldn't get her breath and she was struggling to get out from under the blankets. She felt like she was suffocating. She started yelling in her sleep "no! no! Henry! Please!?" She was breaking out in a cold sweat and still couldn't catch her breath. She could hear from a distance "Elizabeth! Elizabeth! Baby, wake up!".

She opened her eyes and sat up quickly, pushing the blankets off her body, trying to take a breath. Her heart was beating out of her chest, beads of sweat dripping down her forehead. Henry was incredibly concerned, he thought his wife was having a panic attack and was trying his best to get her to calm down, but he wasn't sure what had caused her to panic.

He wrapped his arms around her and whispered some comforting words of encouragement, telling her she was ok, she was home and he was right there with her, giving her a gentle loving kiss on her forehead. She finally was able to take a deep breath and burst into tears as she turned onto Henry's strong, caring arms. Henry was incredibly confused as to what was happening but realized his wife needed him to be supportive so he held her tight in his arms, rubbing circles on her back to help her relax. After a few moments, she grabbed his face between her hands and planted a kiss on his lips, trying to express to him all the emotions she was feeling. When they came up for air, he gave her the opportunity to explain what was happening.

"I thought I lost you, and now that's all I can think of, how close…" her voice cracked and she was unable to continue, but Henry knew what she meant.

"Babe, I'm right here and I'm fine, a little beat up but I'm going to be fine, it's OK, it was just a dream."

"Henry! You're more than a little beat up, you got shot! I almost lost you, and the kids…That part wasn't just a dream Henry."

"Baby, don't think like that", he was trying to comfort her but he knew he wasn't getting anywhere and he wasn't about to win this argument, he knew she was right but he would never admit it too her.

"Henry, I can't lose you, the thought of you being gone from me, from the kids, its terrifying, and you going out and doing these stupid things, it gets to me"

"Elizabeth, I'm not doing this to hurt you, you know that, and you're not going to lose me, I'll always be by your side. I love you." He finished sweetly. She just grunted, followed by her own I love you.

She knew it wasn't the time to get into a full-blown argument, and right now, all she really wanted was to be held by her husband, this would be the only way to alleviate her fears so they laid down and Henry held on to her tightly until she could relax.

In the silence of the night, they simply listened to each other's heart beats as a sign they were both still here and together.


End file.
